Finding a good man is challenging but not impossible. We are tired of repeating to ourselves that ‘nobody is perfect and being aware. In the end, we all put up with each other -which is not easy.
Although sometimes love is so great that it does not let us see the differences, we cannot recognize that the relationship does not lead us to anything but suffering. We must understand that there are a series of basics such as respect, affection, and attention. These are essential to know if the person next to us is adequate or not.
1. The Details – A Good Man
It is a classic not because he gives you many gifts or surprises, but because he cares and is interested in what happens to you on an emotional level. Counting on a partner in everything presented is essential, beyond the material details -although nobody is ‘bitter or sweet’-.
If from the beginning he shows signs of ‘absolute passivity’ or, in the case of being in a long-term relationship, he begins to disregard everything. “Reciprocity is essential, although it does not always mean that everything is 50/50,”.
“It is just as important to do for the other as to know how to recognize what they are doing for you. In other cases, some think they are making a great effort for one person, but the other never admit it”.
2. Love And Affection
It is clear that not everyone is equally affectionate; some need physical contact at all times and are almost allergic to it. However, a middle ground or a certain degree of affection and physical contact is necessary for our mental and physical health. Kisses, caresses and hugs generate endorphins, also known as ‘happiness hormones.
“Within the singularities of each one, we must know how to recognize and identify in the couple the signs of affection of each one. In short, they are essential to maintain the link. The problem comes when you don’t want to give them or, since you don’t consider them important, you don’t consider that a lack of them can affect the other”.
However, the expert assures that people are not very influential in intimacy. People find it challenging to show their feelings because they have suffered. Therefore, she concludes with “how important it is to show what you feel.”
3. Trust And Respect – A Good Man
Beyond everything that coexistence and privacy with a person implies, it is essential not to feel fear and feel insecure. Should be able to speak to the person confidently.
“Confidence gives you peace of mind and favors autonomy, independence, and individuality. You feel good in a relationship when you don’t feel overwhelmed or lose.”
“Although it is worked on and created over time, if you start to distrust, you become a person who has a hard time, and you start to hurt yourself too,” he says. He also highlights that admiration and respect are two fundamental pillars intrinsic to these concepts.
4. Respond Well To Conflict
As long as there are ‘good vibes’, everything goes well. But in the face of difficulties, we can check if someone is worth it or not. Therefore, You should be attentive to how the person reacts to an argument or conflict and to what extent he gets involved in your problems and listens to you when you need him.
“If you always feel like you are giving in, the cup overflows. So to all the couples who come to a consultation with communication problems, we always help them learn to manage conflicts. Nonetheless, people have a lot of beliefs and misconceptions about what communication is,” she continues.
5. Shared Values And Goals
It is usual and reasonable to have different interests since it is a way of being able to complement each other, but there are limits. For example, it is necessary to share a minimum of hobbies such as a love for movies or sports and specific values and goals in life.
it will depend a lot on the vital moment in which we find ourselves and if the partner we have, fulfils our necessary objectives or not. “You will not have the same goals at 20 as at 30. Squaring them will make the same couple last for a lifetime or break up, and new ones will emerge,” she says.
If these objectives are consistent throughout the stages, the couple remains. “Many people choose a partner to have children. But when the need fulfils, they discover nothing in common,”.
Finding a good man is not that difficult. We should understand Ourselves and the requirements we need. The person’s approach toward difficult situations speaks a lot about the person’s nature. The good man will always look positively and will be calm. There are different perspectives to looking at a good man, and it solely depends on our requirements.